The washer hasn’t been right for months now. We live in an apartment and the landlord has
been informed. He’s not jumping through
hoops to get anyone out here to assess the damage anytime soon. I’ve had the machine rigged for weeks. The Bic pen point stuck into the chamber that
usually accepts the lid post, keeps the washer running through the cycles. Without the pen, the cycle stops right before
the rinse cycle, leaving the washer full of dirty water and clothes. The smell is enough to make you seriously
consider ever wearing that outfit a second time!
This week, the machine took a turn for the worse. I knew something
was amiss when I noticed the pen cap had laying on the top the dryer. It looked as if it had been chewed off the
machine by a rabid K-9, by the looks of the twisted metal. My neighbor’s clothes were fully submerged in
stagnant water that smelled as if it had been marinating for days. After lamenting over the fact that it had to
be this week, the week of the broken washer, that my toddler had an accident overnight
which required an immediate change of bedding that I did not own, that I
decided to walk away from the machine.
I loaded the sheets, blankets, and covers into the car,
along with the kids and the rest of the dirty laundry from the week. We headed out for what I always remember to
be, an unpleasant experience, at the laundrymat. I asked the kids to bring a backpack of
coloring books and crayons to keep them occupied while we waited. Little did I know the backpack would be
unnecessarily taking up space in my car, as those girls didn’t even have time
to open it.
From the moment we parked the car, the girls were unloading
baskets of clothing and cleaning supplies, transferring it all to those big
wire baskets on wheels, and choosing machines that would correctly house the
loads. We talked about what the machines
do, how much they hold, and why they exist.
They surveyed the articles of clothing, learned how to pre-treat the stains,
and had a ball loading up the machines with laundry. They chose wash cycles based on colors, read
instructions on the machines, and poured out detergent to the little line on
the cap. My eldest daughter carried
around a detergent cap filled with quarters and the two girls took turns filling
the slots with coins when it was time to turn the machine on. The three of us worked together, moving like
a swarm of bees from machine to machine, chit-chatting about laundry and life, taking
time to point out the cool gadgets on the machines, and what television shows
were playing in the background, until six loads of laundry had been completed.
My kids have never done laundry before. At three and eight, it’s completely feasible
that the eldest could have been doing her own laundry for a few years, like
some of her friends. She hadn’t,
though. She’s never looked at a machine,
asked to pour the detergent, or voiced any curiosity about the laundry process
whatsoever. They don’t want to come near the basement in our building, which
houses the washer and dryer, because it’s dark, dirty, and damp. They’ve most certainly never offered to help. Shame on me, as I’ve most certainly never
asked for their assistance! What’s more
astounding is that I hadn’t asked them for their company.
We had more real conversation in the hour and a half we were
at the laundrymat than we’ve had in the past two days of bike-riding, swimming,
and playing Go Fish. We talked about
things that matter, like how many quarters it takes to equal $2, and how many
minutes it will take to dry a down comforter.
We wondered what type of dessert someone might have spilled to create that
type of stain and laughed at the designs the soap bubbles made in the
washers. It’s not the activity that
matters, it’s the quality time spent. When
the expectation of “an event” is removed, most folks, including kids, naturally
relax and open up.
Sometimes I think we put all this pressure on ourselves as
parents to create a rich and varied atmosphere for our kids so they will thrive
on the challenge and ingenuity of the activity.
While some of that is important, I’m here to tell you it’s not the
activity that matters, it’s the time spent together. The things kids remember are the experiences
with their parents, grandparents, and friends, regardless of the events those experiences
were derived from. Their memories fade
of the carnival, the rides, and the treats, but they always make mention of that
one time with Pops when they trimmed the trees together. I truly enjoyed myself with my children
today. After laundry, we went to the post
office, the farmers’s market, and the grocery store. They assumed active roles at each stop,
without me asking them to do a thing.
They took pleasure in completing their self-initiated tasks of shopping,
checking things off lists, and price-checking.
They took time to window-shop at the farmer’s market for flowers and
treats, and they welcomed the responsibility of affixing stamps to the
envelopes before dropping them into the mailbox. I looked at them not only as my children and
my companions today, but also as dependable little people. If I didn’t know better, I’d think they could
almost function on their own!
Kids like being useful and having purpose. They’re proud of themselves when they learn
something new, and most times they enjoy collaborating with others. Interact with them outside of the formal activities
we seem so anxious to plan for them, and you can see that for yourself. Our kids are people who just want to be part
of something, yet we tend to treat them as clients that we need to impress with
celebration and sport. They don’t need
the royal treatment. They just need some
of your time.
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