Teaching your kids to do something well is hard. We can all teach any kid an intro to
_____ball, the basics to good manners, and the cliff notes to the birds and the
bees. But really diving in and fully
explaining, demonstrating, practicing, checking, correcting, and practicing
some more is a beat down…for the parent and the child alike. It’s worth the investment, though, as learning
to do something really well, outside of sports, academics, and the arts, seems
to be a dying art for kids these days.
Investing time to instruct my children how to do things really well not
only helps teach my kids to take ownership of their work, but it also helps
them separate themselves from the herd by mastering what used to be called
basic human necessity: taking care of
yourself, earning a living, keeping house, and managing money.
All or nothing is my motto, so teaching moments with my kids
are pretty intense. It’s hard for them
and hard for me. Today was
housecleaning. They’ve been involved for
years with picking up after themselves, clearing dishes, and doing housework
chores here and there. But today, we
stepped it up a notch. With a new Family
Economy in place where the girls are responsible for earning their own money
for their wants and needs, such as clothes, entertainment, toys, events, etc.
by completing their daily personal and household tasks, my kids have an
opportunity to earn bonus money for the chores typically deemed a pain in the
you-know-what, which are typically performed by you-know-who.
My eldest was looking to make up for some missed earning opportunities
during her week, so she offered to help me with the housecleaning. Sound like a win-win, right? I get help with the dreaded cleaning and she
earns some extra cash. Not so fast. Sure, she’d dusted some furniture before,
moved a mop over the kitchen floors, and
even introduced herself to a toilet brush a few weeks back . But to complete a cleaning task to the level that
doesn’t require a re-touch or re-do from another person, a.k.a. me, requires a
strategy. Strategies take thought and
experience and planning, all which require time, and in some cases, input from
others.
The sweeping of the basement went off without a hitch. Location of vacuum? Check.
Rooms to sweep? Check. Attachments to use? Check.
She vacuumed the whole basement in under 20 minutes before carefully
drawing up the cord of the machine and putting it away. She forgot the downstairs bathroom, so she
used her noggin and grabbed the portable, battery-opertated vacuum from
upstairs to do that small area instead of hauling out the heavy, old-school vacuum
that needed to be unspooled and plugged in.
Next came the feat of cleaning the basement half bathroom. Rarely used, it is an easy room to keep
tidy. But to a 9-year-old, it still
seemed daunting. Together we went
through the steps of cleaning….mirror first, then sink, then tank of commode,
with toilet bowl last. I explained the
reason for the order (so you could use the same cleaning rag for all surfaces)
and which product to use that would accommodate all surfaces. She did a great job….both efficient and
clean.
The final chore was the upstairs full bathroom. She knew it was a big job, but wanted the big
payoff ($3). Using the same concept as
the basement bathroom, we incorporated the tub, the tile floors, and the
free-standing cabinet into the cleaning equation. She asked me for help with how to get the
dirt off, where to stand to reach the mirror, and what to take off of the sink,
cabinet, and tub, before cleaning it.
All in all, it took her almost an hour and a half to clean that room
alone. It was sparkling. She was proud of herself and happy to earn
her bonus chore money.
Six hours into a four-hour housecleaning job, I was
exhausted and my temper was short, as not only was I trying to clean one floor
of the house in its entirety, but also trying to instruct my 4-year-old how to
clean windows and mirrors to the point of no smudges, while simultaneously helping
my older daughter navigate the
bathrooms. It was an important day for all
of us. Each of my kids learned how to do
a common task well. I didn’t pay for a
piano instructor to teach them to play notes or rely on a professional teacher
to help them learn to read. I taught
them myself how to do something elementary -
clean well - and they
learned. They taught me to do something
elementary - be patient and give them the time they needed from me - blow the
schedule and the tasks and just live in the moment for once. We took a break to practice shoe-tying when
my 4-year-old needed a break. We worked
together as a team. We all got
frustrated at times, but we forged ahead and finished our work so we could
relax and play later.
If you’d ask my kids tomorrow if they’d rather take a turn
on the tire swing or clean the house again and earn extra money, the tire swing
will win out every time. But in talking
about the experience afterwards, they both reminded me that we had fun
too. We listened to loud music and danced
while we cleaned and felt proud when we accomplished our goals. We really felt like we deserved our bike ride in the late afternoon.
I could go on and on about parenting today and the lack of
expectation we hold for our children when it comes to contributing to the
household or even contributing to their own well-being, but to be honest, I’m
more concerned with my own kids learning how to learn, and even more
importantly, instilling in themselves the desire to do for themselves, than I am for society at large. My daughter knows how to keep her own house
clean, and if need or want be, how to make a living by keeping other people’s
houses clean. I’m a proud mama.
