When to Skimp and When to Spend

When you practice living within your means while wholeheartedly enjoying those things in life that are important to you, it forces you to identify your own priorities.  Living Large means making judgement calls on your personal expenses, based on those considerations. 

Financial priorities change throughout our lives.  For example, taking care of myself, on the inside and out, has always been important to me.  Skin and hair has always been a forerunner in personal care.  At certain points in my life the best I could afford was a daily double dosing of soap and water and a little store-bought moisturizer on the face and a free or discounted cut or color, sometimes as a hair model, but always at a top-notch salon, similar those offered at SalonApprentice.  Today I spend top dollar for Arbonne facial products and haircuts from Gia at Charles Ifergan, as the game has changed slightly.  Yes, I make more money than I did twenty years ago, but more importantly, I’ve learned how to skimp on other things that don’t hold as much weight for me, like name brand clothes, speciality groceries, and designer furniture in order to pay face value for other things that do. 

Good shoes matter to me, from the quality, to the fit, to the comfort and durability.  I have no problem whatsoever dropping a Franklin and a half on a pair of good shoes.  In fact, I do it with enthusiasm, as my investment saves me money in the long run in replacement value, as most of the shoes I buy last 5-10 years.  Dr. Martens, Steve Madden, FitFlop and Asics are on my short list when it comes to comfort and durability.

A new brand I’ve come to adore is Sping Step Shoes.  Not only do they have the word comfort in their tagline, but their style options are unique.  Looking through Spring/Summer shoe catalog after being referred to the company by a family member who works for them, I honestly wasn’t sure I would like the shoes, as many of the styles are super bright in color and intricately floral in design, which isn’t my usual go-to in footwear.  However, once I checked out the company website and saw the shoes paired with various garments and styles, I could see the appeal.  

I chose L'Artiste by Spring Step Soatico to sample and review, as the hand-painted leather sandal’s heel measured just over 2”, which is now my daytime threshold after a recent knee surgery has left my normal 3-4” everyday platforms collecting dust in the closet due to the pain they cause.  These sandals have a graduated platform that covers the entire bottom of the shoe, which is a necessity for me since it allows me to stably and comfortably walk distances of up to a few miles at a time without switching to sneakers.  The padded footbed, cushioned insole, and cork construction aid both in support and shock absorbency, while the nubbed rubber outsole, which is slightly smaller than the footprint of the entire shoe, allows for more traction and less clomp when it hits the pavement than most platform shoes.  Finally, and some may think most importantly, the flirty strappy style and phenomenal color combination, deep fuschia-purple and various shades of camel, turns heads and elicits compliments every time I wear them.

I truly feel like I’ve hit the jackpot by being offered the courtesy of a test-drive on these sandals in exchange for an honest written review!  I have worn these warm weather shoes to death, tromping through all sorts of weather, terrain, and temperatures (I live in Chicago you know!), yet the leather straps have held their tension and the sturdy soles still look brand new.  I’m pumped to have a new shoe company to rely on for quality and comfort. 

You can hit the motherlode too, as Spring Step is giving away a free pair of L'Artiste sandals to one lucky ParentUnplugged winner.  Ride out the summer in style and comfort; enter below to win.

Required disclosure:  Spring Step will provide one randomly selected winner a pair of sandals, valued at $89.99  All opinions are my own.

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Doing the Right Thing

Keep it simple is my motto in theory.  Over think, over analyze, over do is my practice.  Since my actions don't always resonate with my words, I spend a lot of time reeling myself in.

I have a simple strategy when it comes to my kids' spending:  odds are you don't need it, so don't buy it. Anything they NEED is produced for them by their adoring parents.  Little surprises, treats, and "just because" purchases are few and far between, but they do exist.

My girls are ten and four, and up to this moment, we haven't had too many issues born out of following this edict, even though many of their peers' exist in different spending societies. They don't ask for much and when they do, they're usually not upset at a "no" or "you can save up for that" response. Enter the Family Economy.

I read this great book called The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership, as recommended by a fellow parent, friend, and preschool owner. The title got me at the word Entitlement, as those 11 letters call me out from wherever I am and whatever I'm doing and demand that I take a step up to my Soapbox.

Just reading or hearing the word Entitle, which is defined by Webster’s as “to furnish with a right,” makes my heart race and initiates my fight or flight response, as I am dead-set against joining today's society of “me”-based parents that are fostering a crop of mini-“me”-based kids.  Those entitled children will grow into our next generation of entitled adults.  I can’t bear the thought!

The book was simply preaching to the choir with me but I borrowed its idea of a monetary system to use early-on with kids to help them grasp the concept of both personal responsibility and Finance 101, called The Family Economy. While author Richard Eyre targeted 8 years old as the perfect time to start such a lesson, he wrote that younger kids could benefit as well.

My 10-year-old picked right up on it:  you meet your weekly responsibilities and you earn the pre-arranged amount of money, based on the percentage of tasks completed.  The money is then hers to budget as she chooses, after she sets aside her portion for college savings and charity.   The 4-year-old is still working on the basics of remembering to meet her daily responsibilities, such as combing her hair and making her bed, so the money is not accumulating as quickly. She knows she has some money, though, and she's morphed into the worst version of a toddler shopaholic that you can think of.

Picture this:  Target shoe aisle, 5 pair of sparkly flats fanned out in disarray on the floor around my daughter as she furiously tries on the 6th pair, and she's screeching, "I want these.  No, I really want these!  Oh, Mom, this pair is the one I want!"  It's the $19.99 pair of size 12 Hello Kitty glitter ballet flats, not to be confused with the $1.99 pair of flip flops that originally caught my eye and landed us in the shoe department in the first place.

"They are pretty," I say softly, "but it doesn't make sense to spend that much money on something that won't fit by next season since there's only a few weeks left of warm weather to wear them."

"But I have money," she whined. "I can buy them."

"You didn't bring your money so we don't know how much you have to spend," I coaxed.

"I've got enough," she said defiantly. "I want them."

"But since the money's not here, we won't be able to leave the store with the shoes because we can't pay for them," I reminded her.

Back and forth we went for a good five minutes.  At some point as I stood there debating this ridiculous purchase with my 4-year-old, I realized there was no need to continue.

While my 10-year old can benefit from making an impractical purchase with her earned money and then having to experience not having enough money or having to bargain-shop for the things she needs more, the lesson doesn't translate yet to the little one. Regardless of her having her own money, she is still a tiny child that doesn't fully understand money,  I am still her parent that makes, and sometimes helps her make, good decisions, based on the values and principles we hold near and dear.

No shoes.  No need.

As I pushed the cart away from the show section, I lamented over the fact that just finding one of the Fiat-sized kiddie carts amongst the hundreds of regular-sized Target carts used to be enough excitement to keep my daughter occupied throughout an entire shopping excursion.  I also considered how close I had come to giving in to the $20 shoes, just to shut down the whining and because I felt bad for her always getting hand-me-down shoes from her older sister.

Don't buy into this, I have to remind myself from time to time. Don't get swayed by my kids' complaints, society's norms in regards to money, or my own inner conflict with money's importance.  Do what you know is best.  Period.  Another day, another kid, another parent....fine.  Today is about me and my kid and our life lessons, whether we want to experience them or not.


After some grumbles, sighs, and stomping, my 4-going-on-8-year-old begrudgingly climbed back into the wide-load cart and asked excitedly, "Mom, can we ride on the elevator?   PLEASE!"

“Atta girl!” I silently congratulated my daughter, and maybe myself, while channeling Margaret from my favorite movie, 9 to 5, when she salutes Violet, Doralee and Judy for leaving work early.